myspaceinvillete

it’s almost 12 midnight and everyone here in Panglao seems to be so alive, parang bora lang eh except that bora has guilly’s island and many more club thingy. Oh well, i just finished drinking my bottles and it feels like i just want to lay on the bed coz i haven’t slept for like 36 hrs already!!!! but i don’t have the hotel key! Good thing though Lost horizon has this free internet service for their guests. wait, mico is here!

- i’m back in Manila. Gawd nagattempt pa pla ako to blog. Haha. I did this on our first night in Panglao.

Few hours before i prepared my things for the trip (which i did for like 1 hour before i went to Naia 3), i was in total contemplation mode. This was suicide. This was suicide. I’ve been ranting. But there’s nothing else that i could or should do. Everything was prepared (the tix, travel tour, reservations) and my friends were giving me guilty-feeling haha. After all, i had fun.

I have been ranting for several days before the trip. I have been avoiding her after her nightmare party. I was a total mess during the party. I felt like my presence there was just to help the housekeeper. Bili ka ng ganto, bring ganyan, paload ng ganito… blah blah… I thought i was doing the right thing, by helping her have a smooth sailing party. She said she loves me blah blah and few days before that party we were at this mall in manila coz i bought her a new shirt, she even asked me if can we make it official. My gawd, i didn’t know she was fooling around and she might just be pretending that she has feelings for me. Yun pala, she was lying lang.

Talk about total humiliation. I was genuinely nice to Trish because i thought they were just friends lang coz that was what she had been telling me. Patay na daw ung atenista, ayaw na niya don, ako lang tlga. blah blah. I believed in all the shit she’d been telling me.

My instincts never fooled me. I was right. My ex and trish were backstabbing me. My ex even told me the truth that she wants me still, gusto niya may kami pa rin kahit papano, kahit na may naffeel na siya para sa iba. She said it herself she was selfish. MAn, That’s bullshit.

I know we weren’t committed. I’m totally single, so as her, but what’s unacceptable was her false hopes. She could’ve just told me let’s keep our distance, i’m dating someone already, we’re done, let me find my own happiness… gawd she could’ve told me that, BUT—- we were so Ok!

We see each other in school, always

we exchange sweet messages like fcuking iloveyous

she’s even texting me mahal na mahal kita

she would bring food to my dormitory so we could eat together

we go out

we build our dreams together

she even asked me several times if we can make our relationship official

THEN WHAT!!!!

I still can’t believe everything she did.  My heart reached its freezing point. This is no longer hatred but madness.

I am not pang PARKING LOT relationship! goddamnit

This entry was posted on October 28, 2008 at 8:42 pm and is filed under Uncategorized . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.